Two years ago my life changed… I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. In some ways it was a relief to know why I was constantly in pain and always tired. I thought a diagnosis would help me to get on with the life I knew. How wrong could I be?!
My life has changed dramatically.
I’ve now got used to having limitations and mobility issues and I have a very empty diary. I no longer live a busy life, I have to think before I book a coffee in with a friend because I might have to cancel at the last minute. If I have a meeting or medical appointment I have to rest for a couple of days before and after.
I’m no longer Super Woman, I liked to think of myself as a Domestic Goddess in the past but not anymore, now cooking a meal usually means fatigue kicks in. I’ve always loved to bake but no longer find it relaxing and if I didn’t have Ken in my kitchen (my Kenwood mixer) I wouldn’t be able to bake. I know Mr C and the Curly One like to eat cake but it doesn’t seem fair that they now get the washing up and tidying up to do too because just baking a cake is so exhausting for me.
I’ve changed my car to an automatic so that I could keep my independence. It is a big expense having two cars but I can’t walk very far and don’t live near a bus route but yet still want a life a few days a week. I don’t even miss not changing gear now and can enjoy driving again! No more ‘hand claw’ on my gear stick!
Fibromyalgia seems to hit busy people, people who live life to the full and who are involved in everything.
I was diagnosed age 42 though my GP agrees I’ve had it since age 17! Well I’ve pushed through since then and I’ll keep pushing through now but at a much much slower pace.
I’m not angry anymore, I found it used too much energy!
Having a walking stick isn’t fun at 44 but it keeps me upright.
Having to give up work this summer was hard, I’ve worked since age 13! I also miss being with people and helping people. I miss volunteering and befriending. Perhaps it’s me who needs the company now!
It’s about looking at life differently, learning to pace yourself. You ‘can’ do what you want but have to live with the consequences of doing too much sometimes. Flare ups are the worst and Chronic Fatigue just throws everything back up in the air again.
Life is for living though and try beat me to the cake shop and I can’t race you anymore but I might trip you up with my snazzy walking stick as you try get past me!
Just remember that I still look like me as all my pain is invisible!